How to know if you’re in a toxic friendship?


Relationship means strength, love, security, and care. If a relationship rather than bringing care, companionship and comfort to your life, it brings frustration, mental fatigue, exhaustion, involves abusing behaviour; it turns out to be a toxic relationship. Toxic friends suck your energy, they are generally hypocritical and they do not feel any sympathy for you and believe it they are not worth your attention.

Toxic relationships are not limited to romantic partnerships; you may count any friend who comes in your surroundings, like your childhood friend, your colleagues and your batch mates, anyone.

Here are nine signs that may help you to find out whether your friend is toxic or not. This assessment will help you to find out the reality of your friends.

The very first symptom of a toxic relationship is that the person is involved in does over drama. You will always see chaos around him, he will always do things that can present himself as a victim and he may draw your attention.

You will always find him arguing and causing problems, unbelievable and uncertain things will keep happening to him. Such persons love to create drama. A toxic friend always tends to suck your energy. Whether you want to hear his story or not, he will always try to drag you in his drama.

2. Everything is about them
A toxic friend is a great attention seeker. He does not wait for others to speak. It is always he who should be listened. A toxic friend rarely listens to you. He is always busy in putting his ideas and opinions.

In an ideal conversation when two persons speak they give space to each other so that they both can put their ideas and arguments one by one. But here is a toxic friend who likes everything revolving around him. If you want to test a toxic friend, you can bring up random topics which have nothing to do with either of you.

You will find that a toxic person has a tremendous ability to navigate the conversation back around to him time and again. Whatever the topic is, it is always he in centre. A toxic friend always likes to talk like “I, me, myself.”

3. They constantly put you down
A toxic friend is in a toxic relationship because somewhere he feels jealous of you. He will never appreciate you for your achievements. He will never compliment you. You cannot expect words of congratulation on your achievements from him. On the contrary, he always tries to take you down.

He will always try to pick holes in your character. You will realise that you never feel happy or comfortable in his company. You will always feel like you are arguing with him and he drains out your energy unnecessarily.

4. They compete with you
One more obvious sign of a toxic friend is that a toxic friend is not happy with your promotion or your achievement or your growth of career or your rewards. He will always try to compete with you. He is always running a race competing with you. He always wants to excel you in every field of life.

He cannot accept that you are making progress. The jealousy and envy are two human traits that are unavoidable. But toxic friend is in an invisible competition with you all the time to an extent that it can be harmful and dangerous to both of you.

5. They secretly copy you
Toxic friends sometimes become so blind in the competition that they secretly start to imitate them with whom they feel jealous. The competition is everything for them.

Sometimes it happens that they start to mimic their friend without knowing. They may start using the same language, the same style same fashion. And sometimes they pretend that they are doing better things than you.

6. They cross your boundaries
Toxic friends like to place hurdles in your life like if you have given them a phone number they will always call you at an inappropriate time. If you tell them that’s something irritates you or makes you uncomfortable, they will do the same things. They do not respect your limitations, your boundaries and your space. They always like to push you down.

7. They are always involved in your criticism
Toxic friends are not only jealous of you but they are always found involved in your criticism. Your achievements, your success do not impress them. They are always busy in finding faults with your work.

If you have 99 qualities in your character, they are focused to find that one negative quality of your character which can make you feel embarrassed. They always criticize you behind your back. If someone appreciates you behind your back, they will not respond to it, but try to underline the negative aspect of your character.

8. They’re hypocritical
Toxic friends are hypocritical to a level you cannot expect. On the one hand, they claim to be your friend. They sometimes help you in your need on limited terms where it does not take much effort for them.

Otherwise, if they have to do something for you that can take a lot of effort, they will deny it.  On the other hand, they criticize you behind your back. They cannot listen to your appreciation from others. They are always digging holes for you.

9. They lie to get sympathy
Toxic friends are expert in making false stories that have no sense. Their whole focus is on how to pull you down. Sometimes they lie to get the sympathy of others so that they can build up their own image. They always try to show themselves innocent and gullible.

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